Holy shit, this is the first one of these I've done without a single appearance by Lil Wayne, what the hell is going on (although there's one remix here of a song he was originally on). I could've shoehorned him in with the remix of Cassie's "Original Girl," but that wasn't really a single before he was added to it.

"Damaged (Remix)" by Danity Kane featuring Fabolous
I slept on this song for a few months but eventually that "DO! DO YOU! GOT A FIRST! AID! KIT! HANDY!" part got to me, and Fab is always a good choice to hit up an R&B track and manage to not sound like he's trying to get his LL on. But this is seriously one of the lamest verses I've ever heard from him, hitting syllables hard on the thumping beat with no real flow or accents and barely anything clever enough to count as a punchline. Fab tends to sound lazy even when he's on fire, so it's actually sort of illuminating to hear what he sounds like when he's really putting in zero effort.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: D

"Girls Around The World (Remix)" by Lloyd featuring DJ Khaled, The Game, T.I., Yung Joc, Rick Ross, Ace Hood, Young Dro, Pitbull and Busta Rhymes
Never really got the hype about the original, weak melody and awful Wayne verse doing nothing to breathe new life into a classic break, so an overstuffed remix at least has the potential of someone doing right by the beat instead of just recycling Rakim lines. This is pretty much just a sleepy parade of the usual suspects, though, and Ace Hood being less regonizable than everybody else and coming on shouting and kind of totally missing the point actually puts him in the plus column for breaking up the monotony. Dro has the best autopilot, though, and the way the mutes on the beat interact with his verse is really subtle and great (especially compared to the labored mutes on the Pitbull verse). WTF is up with Busta's nasally voice on this, though?
Best Verse: Young Dro
Overall Grade: C

"Heaven Sent (Remix)" by Keyshia Cole featuring Mario
Kind of nice of Keyshia to throw some work to my homeboy Mario considering that she's been slaughtering R&B radio with this and multiple other #1s lately while he's been drifting further away from the airwaves and making premature has-been moves like going on "Dancing With The Stars" at the tender age of 21. Mario's voice sounds a little raw, like there's some kind of filter or mixing that usually happens on his own records that wasn't done here, and it feels a little off, but he does a nice job of parrying around the rhythm in his verse and putting a good twist on the chorus.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: B-

"Hi Hater (Remix)" by Maino featuring T.I., Swizz Beatz, Plies, Jadakiss and Fabolous
Never got too into the original, partly because the best thing about it, the beat, was just a 1-track jack from a superior oldie, and Maino's verses on it demonstrated that at least some of his haters have kind of a point. But he goes in and improves on his flow on the original, which I wish more artists did when jumping on the victory lap remix of a hit. I mean, they've probably spent the last few months hearing and performing the song constantly, and had plenty of time to think about how they could've flowed on it differently, so kudos to Maino for actually taking advantage of that opportunity. Plies, the most magnetically loathsome douchebag in rap today, continues to surprisingly redeem himself with some of the more memorable couplets ("9 outta 10 rappers is haters/ they get emotional when they ain't got paper"), while remix kings Jada and Fab are simply average.
Best Verse: Plies
Overall Grade: B+

"Need You Bad (Remix)" by Jazmine Sullivan featuring Kwame
The Kwame remix I wrote about last month was nice, and I don't blame Jazmine for going and doing another remix with a big time MC on it, but I wish she'd used that Kwame beat for this, as much as I love the original, just for a little different flavor. Anyway Tip adds absolutely nothing to this version, continuing in his general trend of really boring R&B collabs lately. Back when he first started talking about the concept behind Paper Trail and "No Matter What" dropped I really thought his circumstances of late would leap him to some kind of artistic breakthrough and really great lyrics, but between these guest spots and "Whatever U Like" it looks like he's just happily skipping along to rap & bullshit irrelevance these days.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: D

"Put On (Remix)" by Young Jeezy featuring Jay-Z
Jay is practically the last major rapper left who hadn't jumped on the Autotune bandwagon, so the first time I heard his verse on this it had the exact effect he intended: I cringed and braced myself when he said "Guru, put a little T-Pain on my shit too" and half-sang the title line, and then I laughed and breathed a sigh of relief when he revealed the fake-out and proceeded to rap in his regular voice. The original already kind of felt like a remix, the way Kanye comes on the end of the song and totally changes its tone, so it's kind of hard for Jay to take over the track and redefine it the way he usually does. And there's some unpleasant irony to the fact that his flow suddenly gets choppy and awkward the moment he crams some syllables in to say he has "the greatest flow in the world," but it's still a pretty solid new Jay-Z verse.
Best Verse: Jay-Z
Overall Grade: B+

"So Fly (Remix)" by Slim featuring Jadakiss and Freeway
Another song that I covered a remix of last month (one with Shawty Lo) that turned out later to have a more official remix. Jada's kind of uncharacteristically rigid flow actually works pretty well, and makes the throwback/bozack couplet that much funnier when it hits. And it's nice to hear Freeway still occasionally showing up on mainstream records, makes me optimistic that maybe he hasn't already been flushed out of the major label system after Free At Last.
Best Verse: Jadakiss
Overall Grade: B

This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 19, 2008 at 9:44 PM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.