The 2009 Remix Report Card, Vol. 5

"Boom Boom Pow (Remix)" by The Black Eyed Peas featuring Gucci Mane and 50 Cent
One of my favorite kinds of all-star remixes is the kind where the lineup makes a certain sense at the moment it was made, but would be a complete wtf clusterfuck at any other point in time. And this is probably the best example since that "Lean Back" remix with Eminem and Ma$e and Lil Jon. Up unitl 6 months ago, and probably more than 6 months from now, the assembly of talent (and "talent") on the "Boom Boom Pow" remix would be bizarre even as a DJ blend. But in April 2009, BEP have weirdly come up with their biggest urban radio hit ever, at the same time that Gucci is rap's ascendant next big thing. And 50, once hip hop's most isolated superstar, the guy who'd appear on 80 Tony Yayo songs before recording a single bar for anyone not on Aftermath, has in the death throes of his career has started reaching outside of his comfort zone in all sorts of weird ways: guesting on a reggaeton song, jumping on (and then off) a Fall Out Boy tour, and now a goddamn BEP song. It's all so strange on a conceptual level that it's almost hard to listen to the track itself, although it's actually kinda decent, at least until the obnoxious tempo change.
Best Verse: Gucci Mane
Overall Grade: B

"Hottest In Da Hood (Remix)" Part 1 by Red Cafe featuring Diddy, Jadakiss, Rick Ross, Fabolous and OJ Da Juiceman
I'm on record as kind of hating these maximalist 12-guest multi-part remixes, really even just one super-long remix is better than dropping that many posse versions of the same damn song. I mean mostly I just find it annoying to try to keep track of them all, but also it's really unnecessarily for a barely-hit song like this, and none of these are as good as Red Cafe's last big remix of "Paper Touchin'," but the first one's the best so I'm gonna cover that for now, and maybe get the other 2 (or 3?) later. Fab kills the first remix ("make it go down, no Drano") and OJ as usual is hilariously out of his depth even with the lowest expectations.
Best Verse: Fabolous
Overall Grade: C

"Hustler's Anthem (Remix)" by Busta Rhymes featuring Ryan Leslie, OJ Da Juiceman, Gucci Mane and T-Pain
I really hated on this song in its original incarnation, but this really got me bumpin' it, so I'd say that's a sucessful remix. R-Les comes first and really brings a whole new vibe to the beat, sounds like something that would've been a highlight of his album. It's funny how Gucci and OJ have risen so quickly that they made their first appearance in this column in March and are now dominating the May installment. They both sound pretty good on this beat (yes, even OJ!), but really it's just nice to have someone other than Wayne on every song. The T-Pain hook is still weak as fuck, though.
Best Verse: Ryan Leslie
Overall Grade: A-

"Mafia Music (Remix)" by Rick Ross featuring The Game, Ja Rule and Fat Joe
"Mafia Music" is still one of my favorite tracks of the year, even though the "wow a decent Ross song!" novelty wore off and I'm not even gonna listen to Deeper Than Rap, and it's nice to hear some different MCs on that epic crawling beat. Game already did the corralling all of 50's enemies in his corner remix thing, though, and noone says anything interesting, so really the most entertaining part is AutoTuned Ja Rule, which isn't as bad as you might expect.
Best Verse: Ja Rule
Overall Grade: C+
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