The 2010 Remix Report Card, Vol. 4

"I'm Ill (Remix)" Part 1 by Red Cafe featuring The LOX / Part 2 featuring Ryan Leslie, Lloyd Banks and Claudette Ortiz
If the moldy old trend of sampling Jay-Z's voice for hooks hadn't jumped the shark a long time ago, it would with this limp loop of some cringe-inducing ad libs from his "A Milli" remix ("I'm EWW, rrrrahhh"), and Red Cafe propping up so so semi-hits with all-star remixes never really had a shark to jump. Jada goes in on the first remix but it's kinda predictable and hammers home the boring nu-NYC rap vibe, whereas the 2nd one adds some new shit to the beat and lets R-Les give it a whole new hook. The intro by one of Wyclef's old B-list girls is kinda pointless, though.
Best Verse: Jadakiss
Overall Grade: C+

"Long King (Remix)" by The-Dream featuring Jeezy
I never really like Jeezy (still feel weird about him dropping the Young) on R&B tracks, unless he's like making fun of the track like on that J-Hud remix, but this sounded better than I expected it to.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: B-

"Nothing On You (Remix)" by B.o.B. featuring Big Boi and Bruno Mars
B.o.B. is such a brazen Andre 3000 soundalike that I feel like this remix was done on purpose to further confuse any pop radio listeners who thought it was a new Outkast song. Basically though this is just Big Boi tacking a verse on the original and there's nothing especially good or bad about it.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: C

"Pretty Girls (Remix)" by Wale featuring Chris Brown and Fabolous
This song has been on the radio 24/7 around D.C. for so many months now that I sometimes have to remind myself that it wasn't really a major hit all over the country. I really never get sick of that beat, though, as sick as I get of Wale's pained wordplay and forced rhymes, so it's great to hear some new twists on it, including a crazy synth line during Fab's verse. Wale does a little damage control for the 'controversy' of having light-skinned girls in the video by going "I like 'em all shades all races all figures," and the fucking despicable domestic violence poster boy continues to attempt career damage control, but fuck Chris Brown, this remix shoulda had Chuck Brown on it.
Best Verse: Fabolous
Overall Grade: B

"Rude Boy (Remix)" by Rihanna featuring Rick Ross
It was such a disappointment to hear that Officer Rawse was on the official remix on this, since you know they could've done a killer remix with some real party MCs or some cats with island roots. This is one of those rare occasions that I will admit Ross wasn't bad on this, though, especially the first verse.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: B-
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rofl @ "long king" :D
 
oh shit, no freud-o
 
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