The 2011 Remix Report Card, Vol. 7
"Bait (Remix)" by Wale featuring 2 Chainz, Rick Ross and Trey Songz
I was surprised to see an all-star remix of this song out since they've been playing it 24/7 on D.C. radio for months but I haven't seen it on any national charts and it's not even on every copy of Ambition, it's just a bonus track on the deluxe edition. I mostly find this song annoying but the original has a certain amount of momentum that the remix loses, partly because of the way the other rappers flow on this and partly because of not having that stupid "WORK WORK WORK WORK" chant upfront. I hate to give him props but Wale sounds the least awkward on this beat, and Trey Songz sounds by far the most awkward.
Best Verse: Wale
Overall Grade: C-
"Body 2 Body (Remix)" by Ace Hood featuring Rick Ross, Wale, Chris Brown and DJ Khaled
I know this is a big hit and all but it's not the kind of song anyone ever wants or expects a remix form, and it's kind of funny to hear them go all-out, Ace writing a whole new 16 and Khaled doing a goofy Puffy quote intro. Wale's topical Penn State punchline is just painful.
Best Verse: Ace Hood
Overall Grade: D
"Fly Together (Remix)" by Red Cafe featuring Trey Songz, Wale and J. Cole
This track ends with Red Cafe doing the same Puffy "Big Poppa" ad lib quotes that Khaled does at the beginning of the "Body 2 Body" remix, no joke. Small minds think alike. Yes, three remixes in a row with Wale. What the fuck is happening to the world. This song always kinda bummed me out because I hoped after "You Be Killin' Em" that Ryan Leslie would start producing a bunch of rap radio bangers and so far this has been the only one since then and it's kinda lame. At least Trey Songz acquits himself more admirably here than on the "Bait" remix with his verse and improves on the R-Les hook.
Best Verse: Trey Songz
Overall Grade: C+
"Good Life (Remix)" by OneRepublic featuring B.o.B
This is one from months ago that I missed at the time and am including for archival purposes. Obviously B.o.B is a fucking shameful joke and his presence on songs like this just further confirms that. I thought he was done after those bars at the beginning and then he came back later and it was even worse.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: F
"Hard White (Remix)" by Yelawolf featuring T.I. and Slaughterhouse
This is such an inert and commercially doomed attempt at a club banger that loading it up with a bunch of indulgent punchline rappers just makes it more depressing.
Best Verse: Crooked I
Overall Grade: D
"I'm A Boss (Remix)" by Meek Mill featuring T.I., Rick Ross, Lil Wayne, Birdman, Swizz Beatz and DJ Khaled
I love this song so I was just so amped to hear it get probably the most star-studded event remix of the year. The new Swizz addition to the hook is pretty pointless and I can't believe Birdman is still tagging along with Wayne on posse cuts, but T.I. and Meek murder it and I like the way Ross handled his first verse after those seizures.
Best Verse: T.I.
Overall Grade: A
"Magic (Remix)" by Future featuring T.I.
All Future songs suck, even a decent Tip verses doesn't really change that.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: D
"The One That Got Away (Remix)" by Katy Perry featuring B.o.B
A few months ago, people called foul when Katy Perry dropped a remix of "Last Friday Night" on iTunes to get her fifth consecutive #1s. Now she's trying to get a sixth, and after selling the song for 69 cents didn't quite work she's back to the remix well, with an insipid guest on an insipid song.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: F
"Shot Caller (Remix)" by French Montana featuring Diddy and Rick Ross
And once again, we have some '90s Puff Daddy quotes, this time with Mr. Combs himself getting involved. I'm really bummed out that French Montana is becoming too famous for me to pretend that I think that's the name of a sandwich at Arby's, but this song is dope, or at least the beat is. Diddy in the mix and bringing the hook full circle is cool, but giving Ross the "Benjamins" Biggie beat is so offensive I yelled "fuck you!" at the radio the first time I heard this.
Best Verse: Diddy
Overall Grade: B-
"Sleazy 2.0 (Remix)" by Ke$ha featuring Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, T.I. and Andre 3000
The only thing more disgusting that Ke$ha's voice on this track is the most appalling Wiz Khalifa fake laugh yet. Supposed perfectionist recluse Andre 3K jumping on a Ke$ha album track a year ago was pretty goofy, but now throwing his verse in the middle of a posse cut makes a little more sense, although T.I. totally upstages him.
Best Verse: T.I.
Overall Grade: C-
"Stay (Remix)" by Tyrese featuring Rick Ross and Faith Evans
I'd seen this song on the R&B charts for weeks and weeks without ever actually hearing it on the radio, so I had to pull up the original on YouTube before checking out the remix and it's a pretty nice, sweet song, definitely better than what I'm used to hearing from Tyrese. Once more we get some Puffy quoting ("you know we had to do a remix, right?" over bottle clinking) with Big's widow and his new generation wannabe on the track, but the actual track is jacked from Jay's "Politics As Usual," which is appropriate since at least half of Ross's songs get their whole aesthetic from that track.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: B
I was surprised to see an all-star remix of this song out since they've been playing it 24/7 on D.C. radio for months but I haven't seen it on any national charts and it's not even on every copy of Ambition, it's just a bonus track on the deluxe edition. I mostly find this song annoying but the original has a certain amount of momentum that the remix loses, partly because of the way the other rappers flow on this and partly because of not having that stupid "WORK WORK WORK WORK" chant upfront. I hate to give him props but Wale sounds the least awkward on this beat, and Trey Songz sounds by far the most awkward.
Best Verse: Wale
Overall Grade: C-
"Body 2 Body (Remix)" by Ace Hood featuring Rick Ross, Wale, Chris Brown and DJ Khaled
I know this is a big hit and all but it's not the kind of song anyone ever wants or expects a remix form, and it's kind of funny to hear them go all-out, Ace writing a whole new 16 and Khaled doing a goofy Puffy quote intro. Wale's topical Penn State punchline is just painful.
Best Verse: Ace Hood
Overall Grade: D
"Fly Together (Remix)" by Red Cafe featuring Trey Songz, Wale and J. Cole
This track ends with Red Cafe doing the same Puffy "Big Poppa" ad lib quotes that Khaled does at the beginning of the "Body 2 Body" remix, no joke. Small minds think alike. Yes, three remixes in a row with Wale. What the fuck is happening to the world. This song always kinda bummed me out because I hoped after "You Be Killin' Em" that Ryan Leslie would start producing a bunch of rap radio bangers and so far this has been the only one since then and it's kinda lame. At least Trey Songz acquits himself more admirably here than on the "Bait" remix with his verse and improves on the R-Les hook.
Best Verse: Trey Songz
Overall Grade: C+
"Good Life (Remix)" by OneRepublic featuring B.o.B
This is one from months ago that I missed at the time and am including for archival purposes. Obviously B.o.B is a fucking shameful joke and his presence on songs like this just further confirms that. I thought he was done after those bars at the beginning and then he came back later and it was even worse.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: F
"Hard White (Remix)" by Yelawolf featuring T.I. and Slaughterhouse
This is such an inert and commercially doomed attempt at a club banger that loading it up with a bunch of indulgent punchline rappers just makes it more depressing.
Best Verse: Crooked I
Overall Grade: D
"I'm A Boss (Remix)" by Meek Mill featuring T.I., Rick Ross, Lil Wayne, Birdman, Swizz Beatz and DJ Khaled
I love this song so I was just so amped to hear it get probably the most star-studded event remix of the year. The new Swizz addition to the hook is pretty pointless and I can't believe Birdman is still tagging along with Wayne on posse cuts, but T.I. and Meek murder it and I like the way Ross handled his first verse after those seizures.
Best Verse: T.I.
Overall Grade: A
"Magic (Remix)" by Future featuring T.I.
All Future songs suck, even a decent Tip verses doesn't really change that.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: D
"The One That Got Away (Remix)" by Katy Perry featuring B.o.B
A few months ago, people called foul when Katy Perry dropped a remix of "Last Friday Night" on iTunes to get her fifth consecutive #1s. Now she's trying to get a sixth, and after selling the song for 69 cents didn't quite work she's back to the remix well, with an insipid guest on an insipid song.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: F
"Shot Caller (Remix)" by French Montana featuring Diddy and Rick Ross
And once again, we have some '90s Puff Daddy quotes, this time with Mr. Combs himself getting involved. I'm really bummed out that French Montana is becoming too famous for me to pretend that I think that's the name of a sandwich at Arby's, but this song is dope, or at least the beat is. Diddy in the mix and bringing the hook full circle is cool, but giving Ross the "Benjamins" Biggie beat is so offensive I yelled "fuck you!" at the radio the first time I heard this.
Best Verse: Diddy
Overall Grade: B-
"Sleazy 2.0 (Remix)" by Ke$ha featuring Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, T.I. and Andre 3000
The only thing more disgusting that Ke$ha's voice on this track is the most appalling Wiz Khalifa fake laugh yet. Supposed perfectionist recluse Andre 3K jumping on a Ke$ha album track a year ago was pretty goofy, but now throwing his verse in the middle of a posse cut makes a little more sense, although T.I. totally upstages him.
Best Verse: T.I.
Overall Grade: C-
"Stay (Remix)" by Tyrese featuring Rick Ross and Faith Evans
I'd seen this song on the R&B charts for weeks and weeks without ever actually hearing it on the radio, so I had to pull up the original on YouTube before checking out the remix and it's a pretty nice, sweet song, definitely better than what I'm used to hearing from Tyrese. Once more we get some Puffy quoting ("you know we had to do a remix, right?" over bottle clinking) with Big's widow and his new generation wannabe on the track, but the actual track is jacked from Jay's "Politics As Usual," which is appropriate since at least half of Ross's songs get their whole aesthetic from that track.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: B
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on Tuesday, December 27, 2011 at 9:22 AM.
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