"Another Round (Remix)" by Fat Joe featuring Chris Brown, Mary J Blige, Fabolous and Kirko Bangz
The original is an endless horrible Chris Brown slow jam occasionally interrupted by Fat Joe saying things like "fuck you with the mask on, Halloween pussy," and just like Ace Hood's shitty Chris Brown slow jam last year this apparently needs a posse cut remix. It kinda works, though, mainly because Mary J. sings over most of Brown's parts and Fab rhymes Huxtables with Lunchables. 
Best Verse: Fabolous
Overall Grade: B

"Drank In My Cup (Remix)" by Kirko Bangz featuring 2 Chainz and Juelz Santana
In the last installment of this column I already wrote about the version with 2 Chainz and J. Cole, but apparently for some reason Juelz is on the official remix, and he doesn't even do some kind of flip on his idiotic classic line "like Kurt Cobain was here YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH." Actually Juelz sounds so sleepy on this that it reminds me that his presence here is appropriate since probably no rapper's career has been more sidelined by sizzurp addiction the last few years.
Best Verse: 2 Chainz
Overall Grade: B-

"Everythings A Go (Remix)" by French Montana featuring Birdman, Wale, Fabolous and Jadakiss
Remember when Memphis Bleek had a song called "Everything's A Go" and it was actually kinda dope? This isn't that, although French is about as pathetic a hope for NY rap as Bleek ever was. It's funny how the original has a crack about "Baby's bald head" and then Birdman shows up on the remix popping in at that exact moment, as if he's Jay-Z on the "Diamonds" remix or something. Fab does a weird low voice on this, doesn't really work. 
Best Verse: Jadakiss
Overall Grade: C

"House Party (Remix)" by Meek Mill featuring Fabolous, Wale and Mac Miller
In this space a while back I expressed my despair over learning that one of my favorite singles of 2011, Brianna Perry's "Marilyn Monroe," had Wale on the official remix. So you can imagine how I'd feel to learn that one of my other favorites of last year has Wale AND Mac Miller on the remix. But at least Meek goes in on his verse, yelling the first line from the original even louder and then going into a crazy new flow, and Fab works better on this beat that I would've expected. Even Wale's verse sounds aight, partly because they throw some cool new snare fills into the beat when he's on. And then Mac Miller compares himself to a character from "Entourage" and says "cray," which is pretty lame but actually doesn't hurt what's otherwise a really strong remix too much. 
Best Verse: Meek Mill
Overall Grade: B-

"I Don't Like (Remix)" by Chief Keef featuring Kanye West, Pusha T, Jadakiss and Big Sean
I feel kinda bad for these new artists who start to get some buzz and then a huge star wants to jump on a remix of their single and that song kind of gets sucked into the orbit of said star. That said, the original "I Don't Like" is pretty much garbage so I don't mind seeing it trampled over by the likes of Big Sean. I do feel bad for the producer of the original, though, he's right that the shit they did to his beat is pretty terrible. 
Best Verse: Jadakiss
Overall Grade: D
 
"Refill (Remix)" by Elle Varner featuring Wale, Kirko Bangz and T-Pain
Oh look, another fucking Wale verse. T-Pain approaches his 2007 classic remix style here and singlehandedly saves the track, though. 
Best Verse: T-Pain
Overall Grade: B+

"Riot (Remix)" by 2 Chainz featuring 50 Cent
Fif's collabs with Gucci Mane or whatever southern rapper of the moment he's occasionally deigned to work with have always felt kind of random and not even interesting enough to seem like a calculated maneuver. But this is a really good fit, in terms of the beat and the way he kinda jumps into the first verse, nothing special but it works. At least until 50's flow gets really sloppy later on.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: C+

"Shot Caller (NYC Remix)" by French Montana featuring Jadakiss, Styles P, Red Cafe, Fat Joe and Uncle Murda
It's pretty goofy to have a dedicated 'NYC remix' of this song after there was already one with Diddy that was full of "Benjamins" homages, but since this is the latest anthem for an anthem-starved NY rap scene I guess they got a keep milkin' it. But again, the way they chop in beats from classics throughout this would be a lot cooler if they didn't already do it for the first remix. Always good to hear some Jada and Styles back'n'forth, can't believe Uncle Murda still exists.
Best Verse: Jadakiss and Styles P. 
Overall Grade: B-

"Slight Work (Remix)" by Wale featuring French Montana, Diddy and Ma$e
I like the original more than I want to admit enjoying a song involving Big Sean and Diplo, but christ this remix, what the fuck, I can't believe we're doing this Ma$e thing again. It was cute back on the "Lean Back" remix but that was 8 fucking years ago, even longer ago than it had been then since his original 'retirement.' At least Ma$e is appropriately on a track with his 21st century slackjawed Bad Boy toddler equivalent, French Montana. 
Best Verse: Diddy
Overall Grade: C
 
"Up! (Remix)" by LoveRance featuring E-40, B.o.B and Fat Joe
Another redundant remix, this time for a song that is basically only a hit in its remixed incarnation, and I'm so sick of this fucking song anyway, but at least the lineup is decent, even Bobby Ray acquits himself well on the rare occasion he's not spitting directly to the Disney Channel.
Best Verse: E-40
Overall Grade: B+

This entry was posted on Friday, May 11, 2012 at 9:24 AM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.