"Bounce It (Remix)" by Juicy J featuring Wiz Khalifa and Trey Songz
Given that the only new guest on this is Juicy's label boss, whose buzz is at an all-time low, this seemed like it would be a pretty perfunctory drop-one-new-verse-onto-the-original remix. But nope, it's a whole full-blown thing, with Wiz giving slightly more effort than usual, and Juicy and Trey doing new verses. Trey's rap flow is almost as annoying here as it was on the remix to Wale's "Bait," but Juicy drops a better verse than either of his on the original, working "abracadabra" and "hokey pokey" into filthy sex rhymes.
Best Verse: Juicy J
Overall Grade: B-

"Dis Ain't What You Want (Remix)" by Lil Durk featuring Rick Ross, French Montana and Meek Mill
I was walking down the street the other day, and a car passed by blasting a rap song that I only heard for 5 seconds, and in those 5 seconds, French Montana yelled "LEBRON JAMES LIKE TRINIDAD!" as if it was a hot punchline he was proud of. It's actually been kind of fascinating the last few years, to watch rappers basically degrade the art of wordplay to the point of mere word association, but that might be a new low. The song, like most Chicago drill songs, just sounded like a half-assed approximation of major label street rap by kids with no real talent to begin with, so it makes sense for it to just turn into another generic MMG posse cut.
Best Verse: Meek Mill
Overall Grade: D

"Do What U Want (Remix)" by Lady Gaga featuring Rick Ross and R. Kelly
It was weird to just expect a tacked-on Ross verse, and then be excited to hear R. singing the word "remix" over the intro and get my hopes up for a full-blown classic R. Kelly remix, and then hear basically the original song awkwardly sped up a few BPMs with a tacked-on Ross verse. Also, I was willing to give Gaga the benefit of the doubt that she wanted R. Kelly on this song because he sounded great on it and not because of irony or controversy, putting Rozay on here shortly after the whole "UOENO" thing seems like straight trolling.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: F

"Gas Pedal (Remix)" by Sage The Gemini featuring Justin Bieber and IamSu
I never liked this song as much as "Red Nose" so I'm not too mad about this one being ruined by Biebs doing some awkward Montell Jordan delivery over it. Sage and IamSu both try to capitalize on the moment of having such a big star on the song, though, kicking new verses that are both better than their shit on the original, although it's embarrassing with IamSu says "beliebers."
Best Verse: Sage The Gemini
Overall Grade: C

"My Story (L.A. Remix)" by R. Kelly featuring Too $hort and Nipsey Hussle
This is labelled as the 'L.A. remix' on the official R. Kelly SoundCloud page, even though Too $hort reps Oakland, and I'm stickin' to it because it's funny. I already covered the Chicago remix last month, and this one seems pointless by comparison, and even features the same decent new R. verse. But Too $hort's verse is pretty cool, because the story of his career is actually really long and interesting, and he talks his shit really well as always. But then Nipsey comes on and talks about his little career like he's done more than 1% as much as Kells or $hort and it's pretty anticlimactic.
Best Verse: Too $hort
Overall Grade: C+

"No Games (Remix)" by Rick Ross featuring Wale, Meek Mill and Future
This seemed like the kind of single that maybe could've been salvaged by a remix with some serious starpower, but Ross just threw his less famous labelmates on here and called it a day. Future lays down some new vocals trying something a little different, like he realized his hook on the original was subpar and wanted another swing at it, but the result is actually worse.
Best Verse: Meek Mill
Overall Grade: C

"Shabba (Remix)" by A$AP Ferg featuring Shabba Ranks, Busta Rhymes and Migos
Not a big fan of this song to begin with and there's a certain inevitability about finally putting Shabba on "Shabba," but he sounds great, the lineup is pretty well picked, Ferg improves on his flow from the original like with the "Work" remix, all came together pretty well.
Best Verse: Shabba Ranks
Overall Grade: B+

"Sh!t (Remix)" by Future featuring Drake and Juicy J or Pastor Troy, Young Jeezy and T.I. or Diddy and ScHoolboy Q
One of those annoying multi-part remixes released in installments, so where they probably could've fit 7 verses into one track, instead we have 14 minutes worth of a song I didn't really like that much to begin with. The ATL remix is the best overall, but the Diddy/ScHoolboy one works better than I thought it would (although Puff sounds almost "Dolly My Baby"-level awkward on the intro, and amusing contradicts himself with "Ain't nothing worse in life than a fuck nigga...even worse is a fuck bitch"). Juice has the best verse overall, though, and most of the attention lavished has been about Drake doing yet another passive aggressive obvious-but-no-names-mentioned-so-it's-"subliminal" Kendrick response, basically not being 'bout shit just like Future is talking about in the hook.
Best Verse: Juicy J
Overall Grade: B

"TKO (Remix)" by Justin Timberlake featuring J. Cole, Pusha T and A$AP Rocky
After a year of Justin hanging out with Jay-Z and Timbaland and seeming really old and disengaged from what's happening in R&B and rap right now, he finally did a track with some youngish and/or current rappers but it's a remix for his worst single ever. J. Cole manages to one-up Papoose and everybody for the worst "Control" response to date by waiting 3 months to spit some bullshit about hitting a girl for having "Control" as her ringtone.
Best Verse: A$AP Rocky
Overall Grade: F

"Tom Ford (Remix)" by Jay-Z featuring Pimp C
Aside from the obvious "Big Pimpin'" echoes of a Jay/Timbo/Pimp C track, this seems like an odd place to burn off an unreleased Pimp C remix since there's apparently a new posthumous album coming and how many of those could there be to spare? It's still cool to hear him rap "on" new songs, though, not as good as the "Show Out" remix but it's still fun.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: B-

This entry was posted on Saturday, December 21, 2013 at 8:58 AM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.