The 2021 Remix Report Card, Vol. 2
Time for another round of remixes. Here's Vol. 1 from earlier in the year, and the 2021 remixes Spotify playlist with every track I've covered so far.
"Astronaut In The Ocean (Remix)" by Masked Wolf featuring G-Eazy and DDG
I don't know what's worth, Masked Wolf's new verse or G-Eazy riffind on Masked Wolf's verses from the original. Surprisingly the "Moonwalking in Calabasas" guy does a decent verse, though.
Best Verse: DDG
Overall Grade: D
Of all the "three letters and one word" rap names out there these days, LPB Poody is by far the funniest. I thought I didn't know who he was, but he's the guy with the little kid voice who had the song that Jason DeRulo and everyone else was dancing to on TikTok last year. "Batman" is pretty good, though, kind of a hard track despite the drums sounding like "Teach Me How To Dougie," and both the guests on here have solid verses.
Best Verse: Moneybagg Yo
Overall Grade: B+
"Body" by Tion Wayne and Russ Millions featuring Jack Harlow
"Body" is a big UK rap song that already had one posse cut remix where the only American was Fivio Foreign, which made some sense since he's one of those Brooklyn drill guys who raps on the same kind of beats all the time. Hearing Jack Harlow on this track is just weird, though, dude is not versatile at all and sounds like he's been beamed in from another song even if he gets on a nice run in the second half of his verse.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: C+
"By Yourself" by Ty Dolla Sign featuring Bryson Tiller, Jhene Aiko and Mustard
Not a big fan of Tiller or this song, but he was a good choice for the remix, really fits the vibe of it.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: B-
"Killer" by Eminem featuring Jack Harlow and Cordae
Now here's a beat that Jack Harlow sounds natural on. The original "Killer" is awful because Eminem makes one of those awkward occasional overtures to making a contemporary-sounding club rap song but his attempt at a restrained flow just makes the stupid punchlines sound worse, but on the remix the guests set the tone, and then Em comes in at the end with a long indulgent verse that somehow feels less forced than what he did on the song before. But he tries to clear the air on that weird feud he had with Snoop Dogg, and he was lame for ever taking offense to what Snoop said.
Best Verse: Jack Harlow
Overall Grade: B
"No Plans For Love (Remix)" by D-Nice featuring Snoop Dogg, Ne-Yo and Kent Jones
The original "No Plans For Love" is a pleasant cruise ship R&B jam that sounds like it was made for Snoop Dogg to rap over, so the addition of Snoop to the remix feels like a no-brainer that makes the song sound more complete.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: B+
"On Me (Remix)" by Lil Baby featuring Megan Thee Stallion
In December, Lil Baby released his first two new solo singles since My Turn made him into a superstar, and I'm annoyed that "On Me" became by far the bigger hit of the two and got a remix with Megan Thee Stallion, because "Errbody" is much better and actually has a reference to Meg already. Her verse is solid but I still hate that beat and the hook.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: B
"Options (Remix)" by Earthgang featuring Coi Leray and Wale
I didn't think Coi Leray would be a good fit for this song but it kind of works.
Best Verse: Coi Leray
Overall Grade: C+
"Peaches (Remix)" by Justin Bieber featuring Ludacris, Usher and Snoop Dogg
I've always been irritated by Justin Bieber's aspirations of being taken seriously as an R&B singer, so the success of "Peaches" and it being an undeniably pleasant song makes me grit my teeth. But he pulled off a nice little remix here, thematically appropriate with two legends from Georgia and one from California, and everyone in is in good form, especially Luda, who has that classic "should have been on the original version" remix aura. Bieber's "that's that shit...bad ass bitch" ad libs are still like nails on a chalkboard to me, though.
Best Verse: Ludacris
Overall Grade: B+
"Save Your Tears (Remix)" by The Weeknd featuring Ariana Grande
I was starting to think that The Weeknd would never get another hit from After Hours after "Blinding Lights" because "In Your Eyes" disappeared quickly even with the Doja Cat remix and "Blinding Lights" just kinda kept going and going. But "Save Your Tears" was doing pretty well even before the remix took it to #1. "Love Me Harder" was a classic so I'm annoyed that Ariana and The Weeknd reunited for this song because it always sounded like sour milk to me, what a lousy song.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: B-
"Slow Clap (Remix)" by Gwen Stefani featuring Saweetie
I ridiculed "Slow Clap" when it first came out but most people didn't ridicule it until the version with Saweetie came out a month later. Either way, just a laughably bad song.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: D
"Top (Remix)" by Fredo Bang featuring Lil Durk
Billboard lists the original Fredo Bang solo track on its airplay charts but every time I've heard it on the radio it's been the remix, and it's really Lil Durk's best verse from his recent hot streak of features, he brings a lot of emotion and personal experience to the song.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: A-
"Track Star (Remix)" by Mooski featuring Chris Brown, A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie and Yung Bleu
"Track Star" is a pretty dumb song to begin with, and it feels like Chris Brown should know better than to get on a song about a woman running away from a man, but of course Chris Brown never knows better.
Best Verse: Yung Bleu
Overall Grade: C
"Toot That (Remix)" by Erica Banks featuring Dreamdoll and Beatking
It's been less than a year since Huey was shot and killed, so it's kind of depressing to hear a "Pop, Lock & Drop It" sample. DreamDoll killed her verse, though, I hope she's the next female rapper that blows up because she's definitely the best of the 'doll' rappers.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: B+
"Without You (Remix)" by The Kid Laroi featuring Miley Cyrus
This song sucks and Miley on it just makes it suck even more, I'm sure she thought it was really cool and edgy to sing the "can't make a wife out of a ho" part.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: F