The 2023 Remix Report Card Vol. 2
Years ago it felt like the frequency of remixes to rap singles was slowing down and I had to switch the Remix Report Card to quarterly installments just to have a decent number of remixes to coveer in each post. But it seems like everyone's making remixes again lately, because this post has remixes of 27 songs, which is over twice as many remixes as I covered in the second quarter of 2022. Women in rap seem to be driving that boom too: out of those 27, 14 have male rappers on them, and 18 have female rappers on them. Here's Vol. 1 and the Spotify playlist of every remix I've reviewed this year.
"America Has A Problem (Remix)" by Beyonce featuring Kendrick Lamar
Renaissance is a great album and I've said that I'd be happy with just about any track being released as a single, but I feel like Beyonce called my bluff by releasing a remix of "America Has A Problem," it's a good song but not something I really want to hear on the radio, even with a Kendrick verse. He's a good match for the song, though. Doechii released an "America Has A Problem" freestyle a few months ago and people accused Kendrick of using her flow, I suppose it's possible (Doechii signed to Top Dawg right before Kendrick announced he was leaving the label, so they're sorta labelmates) but it doesn't really sound like conspicuous biting to me.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: B+
"Area Codes (314 Remix)" by Kaliii featuring Sexyy Red
"Area Codes (415 Remix)" by Kaliii featuring Lil Kayla
"Area Codes (718 Remix)" by Kaliii featuring Kenzo B
"Area Codes (773 Remix)" by Kaliii featuring Mello Buckzz
"Area Codes (850 Remix)" by Kaliii featuring Luh Tyler
Kaliii has released 5 different remixes for "Area Code" each named after the guest rapper's area code, some of them with rappers even less established than Kaliii like Mello Buckzz and Kenzo B. I guess we're not getting a Ludacris remix, though, since Kaliii said she didn't even know the Ludacris song after her "hoes in different area codes" song blew up (like...did someone else write the hook or did she hear someone say that phrase and think it should be a song?). The remix with the most streams features Luh Tyler, a 17-year-old Florida rapper that people have really been hyping up as an incredible talent. It's probably the best of these remixes but I'm not really sold on his voice and flow.
Best Verse: Luh Tyler
Overall Grade: C
"At It Again (Remix)" by Reason featuring Jay Rock
Speaking of TDE, Reason is one of the rappers Top Dawg signed in the last few years who's really never made an impression on anybody. And the remix of his latest single really illustrates that Reason is boring, because Jay Rock is far from TDE's biggest star, but he just raps circles around Reason and brings some energy into a song that was really drab in the original version.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: B
"Bad Bitches (Remix)" by BreezyLYN featuring Lola Brooke and Kali
I don't wanna totally dismiss BreezyLYN as an Ice Spice knockoff but that's really the vibe she has on her breakthrough single, and Lola Brooke really easily steals the spotlight on the remix. I feel like maybe there should be a remix with Brent Faiyaz since the song is built on a sample of his voice from Sonder's "Mad Riches."
Best Verse: Lola Brooke
Overall Grade: B
"Billie Eilish (Legends Mix)" by Armani White featuring Ludacris, Busta Rhymes, and N.O.R.E.
It was a no-brainer for Armani White to invite N.O.R.E. to appear on the remix to his single that sampled his 2002 hit "Nothin'." But it was an inspired idea to bring along a couple of other guys who were hot in 2002 and are GOATS of the remix circuit. I'm a little annoyed that Armani White made a pretty great remix to a song I didn't much like before, but released it like 8 months after the original peaked so nobody really noticed it.
Best Verse: Ludacris
Overall Grade: A-
"Da Girls (Remix)" by Ciara featuring Lola Brooke and Lady London
Another remix where Lola Brooke really steals the track even though it's a little mellower than her solo stuff. I'm not too familiar with Lady London but I really rolled my eyes at her verse.
Best Verse: Lola Brooke
Overall Grade: C+
"Energy (Remix)" by Digga D featuring Latto
I don't follow UK drill enough to know anything about anything, but apparently Digga D is a significant artist over there and "Energy" is one of his biggest chart hits. Latto feels like a pretty random midlevel American rapper to feature on this remix and I don't think of her as being adventurous like that, but it works, she sounds good on this beat.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: B
"Ex's (Phatnall Remix)" by GloRilla featuring Lil Durk
GloRilla's EP featured a song called "PHATNALL" with a horrible bar comparing her pussy to fentanyl because "it's to die for." The remix with Lil Durk changes the title and takes the focus a little off of that extremely painful wordplay, but otherwise it feels kind of unnecessary.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: C+
"Favorite Song (Remix)" by Toosii featuring Khalid
"Favorite Song (Toxic Version)" by Toosii featuring Future
"Favorite Song" is probably my least favorite song on the charts right now, just a totally cloying love song from a guy who cannot pull it off vocally. Future is a decent choice to add a little edge to the song but calling his remix the 'toxic version' is corny, I'm tired for Future leaning into the whole toxic king schtick. Khalid, on the other hand, has the exact right voice to sing on this and actually sound good, I would've probably liked this if it was a Khalid song in the first place.
Best Verse: Khalid
Overall Grade: B-
"Flip A Switch (Remix)" by Raye featuring Coi Leray
Coi Leray's verse on this is actually pretty good. But an American getting on the remix of a British artist's song and doing a fake Brit accent for the whole thing (not a bar or two! all of it!) is so embarrassing, like why is she like this.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: B-
"FreakyT (Remix)" by TiaCorine featuring Latto
I didn't think much of this song at first but it's starting to grow on me, that's a great beat from Honorable C.N.O.T.E. I'm still kind of neutral on Latto, decent rapper but she stuck with the most embarrassing stage name for years and then just grudgingly knocked two letters off of it.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: B-
"I'm Geekin (Remix)" by DDG featuring Luh Tyler
"I'm Geekin (Remix)" by DDG featuring NLE Choppa and BIA
DDG is a mediocre rapper/YouTube influencer (rapfluencer?) who grazed the Hot 100 at the turn of the decade with a Blueface remix. More recently, he's gained greater renown as Halle Bailey's boyfriend who's seemed more and more like an embarrassing liability throughout her The Little Mermaid rollout, including making a burner account on Twitter to diss her co-star Jonah Hauer-King. I often complain in this column that artists never add new verses to remixes of their own songs, but I have the opposite complaint here: DDG has released 3 versions of "I'm Geekin" over the past 2 months, and his lyrics get more horrifying each time. On the original in April: "All the women that's quotin' my tweets/ I know that they want a piece of my meat." On the second remix last week, taunting Jonah Hauer-King again: "I beat the pussy up, she's so addicted/ She's holdin' hands with him but it's just business/ Think he can take her from me, you kiddin'?"
Best Verse: BIA
Overall Grade: D
"Karma (Remix)" by Taylor Swift featuring Ice Spice
There was a lot of celebrity couple drama around the "Karma" remix too. Essentially, The 1975's Matty Healy was on a hipster edgelord podcast last year making stupid comments about Ice Spice, so when Taylor Swift did a remix with Ice Spice during the month or so she was allegedly dating Healy, it was seen as some kind of 3D chess damage control for him. Regardless of all that, I liked the original "Karma" a lot and I don't think the remix really works, I'm glad that pop radio has stuck with playing the album version. Ice Spice is a little smarter and more versatile than she gets credit for ("promise that you'll never endeavor with none lesser" is a cool line and she also picks the funniest possible moment to ad lib "facts" after a Taylor line). But she probably would've sounded better on almost any other song on Midnights.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: C-
"Kill Bill (Remix)" by SZA featuring Doja Cat
"Kiss Me More" was a huge record for both Doja Cat and SZA and got both of them their first Grammy, so it was cool to see Doja jump on the remix that finally got SZA to #1 after "Kill Bill" was stuck at #2 for weeks. That said, I always found "Kill Bill" kind of corny and annoying as a song, and Doja's storytelling bars really help flesh out the song and make it more vivid, I wish radio had picked up on this remix more.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: A-
"Life Goes On (Duo Version)" by Ed Sheeran featuring Luke Combs
Ed Sheeran is undeniably talented, but the way he just kind of dips his toe in genres is usually off-putting to me. So even though I kind of believe him when he says he loves the songwriting of country music and would like to transition into county, saying that while releasing a version of one of his songs with Luke Combs and performing it with him at the ACM Awards just feels like Ed Sheeran dutifully diversifying his portfolio. And "Life Goes On" just doesn't sound very country even when Luke Combs sings the second verse (which features very Sheeran-y lyrics like "I miss the flames, the heated reserve") and the strings get replaced with a little steel guitar. I would've liked to hear them write a song together, or even Sheeran appearing on a Combs song, maybe that would make a little more sense, but I doubt this will get Ed any country radio spins.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: C
"Mine (Remix)" by WanMor
The production on the original "Mine" is fantastic, it's absolutely one of the best beats on the radio right now, so I would've liked a remix with a couple good rappers on the original track. Instead, they sped up the song slightly, sampled the beat from Junior M.A.F.I.A.'s "Get Money," and one of the members of WanMor rapped a verse, very underwhelming.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: D
"No Love (Shemix)" by J.K. Mac featuring Flo Milli, Trina and Maiya The Don
I named "No Love" my favorite single of May and got a nice response from J.K. Mac on Twitter, that was cool, shout out to him. Male rappers doing a posse cut remix with all female guests is a good look and this is a much better song than Ludacris's "My Chick Bad." I love Trina and Flo Milli and everyone had a good verse but I have to give it to Maiya The Don because "put an @ on it since I don't do ambiguity" is a great line.
Best Verse: Maiya The Don
Overall Grade: A
"People (Remix)" by Libianca featuring Becky G
"People (Remix)" by Libianca featuring Cian Ducrot
"People (Remix)" by Libianca featuring Ayra Starr and Omah Lay
It's kind of annoying that for the most part Afrobeats songs have experienced their biggest U.S. chart success with remixes featuring bland pop singers like Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez. But for better or worse I guess "People" isn't going to to cross over like that because Becky G isn't a big enough name for Top 40 radio. I've mostly heard the Libianca solo version on local R&B stations but one time tthey played the version with Cian Ducrot, an Irish singer who blew up on TikTok and toured with Ed Sheeran. Ducrot's voice sounds kind of good on "People" but I still cringe when he sings along with the "I don't smoke banga" part.
Best Verse: Ayra Starr
Overall Grade: C+
"Pound Town 2" by Sexyy Red & Tay Kieth featuring Nicki Minaj
Nicki Minaj has spent a lot of the last few years on a Drake-like campaign to remain relevant by jumping on songs with as many new rappers as she can, and a lot of those collaborations feel forced or just not the right song for Nicki. And the charm of "Pound Town" is that it's so filthy and unpolished that I kind of assumed Nicki would sound, I dunno, overqualified to rap alongside Sexyy Red, but I dunno, this one actually works, helps save the song from getting boring after the first minute or so.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: B+
"Princess Diana (Remix)" by Ice Spice featuring Nicki Minaj
This one I will put in the category of moments where a buzzing new act doing a song with a veteran just makes the latter artist sound old and trying too hard. The way Nicki shows up on the track yelling "graaaaah" and then cackling "gag, it's the gag for me, haha" at the end is hard to listen to.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: D
"Put It On Da Floor Again" by Latto featuring Cardi B
Again, I'm not too impressed by Latto in general, but I'm glad she got back in her club banger bag after that stupid "Lottery" song didn't do "Big Energy" numbers, "Put It On Da Floor" is hard as hell. The Cardi B verse doesn't ring off quite as much as her "Tomorrow 2" verse but it still makes a good song even better.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: A-
"Rocketman (Remix)" by Boosie Badazz featuring Jeezy and Kodak Black
A couple weeks after Takeoff died, Boosie released "Rocketman," a 'tribute' song that featured way too much of the kind of cranky conservative rhetoric ("this world's so feminine," "women showin' too much") that Boosie has been tarnishing his legacy with on social media for the last few years. And I rolled my eyes at Boosie making a remix because why do we need a version of this song with three guys who never even worked with Takeoff? Jeezy came out of nowhere with one of the best verses of his career on here, though. He's one of the last rappers I'd expect to deliver an epic 36-bar where he just keeps going and going and rising in intensity, but he really blacked out on a song that doesn't deserve it.
Best Verse: Jeezy
Overall Grade: B+
"Rodeo (Remix)" by Lah Pat featuring Flo Milli
Texas singer Lah Pat's Ginuwine-sampling breakthrough originally featured a pretty good verse by Texas rapper Big Jade, but the remix is still an improvement, one of Flo Milli's best verses to date.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: A-
"Slut Me Out (Remix)" by NLE Choppa featuring Sexyy Red
"Slut Me Out (Remix)" by NLE Choppa featuring Sukihana
"Slut Me Out" would be the most infamous sex rap song of 2023 if it wasn't for "Pound Town," so it as a no-brainer to do a remix with Sexyy Red, and she's pretty funny on here. The last line of Sukihana's verse is so fucking insane I'm not even gonna type it out on here, though, I feel like she won through pure shock value.
Best Verse: Sukihana
Overall Grade: B
"This Is Cali (Remix)" by Scar Lip featuring Snoop Dogg
Back in April, Scar Lip and Busta Rhymes posted a studio session video previewing basically what sounds like Busta's entire verse for the remix to her breakthrough single "This Is New York." That remix still isn't officially out two months later, though, and I don't review snippets. What is out, though, is Snoop's west coast version, and he really ripped that shit, a great reminder that he can still pull out that Death Row Snoop vibe when he wants to.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: B+
"Us Against The World (Remix)" by Strandz featuring Digga D
The London rapper Fredo recently posted a snippet that a lot of people were roasting on Twitter with comments like "UK rap in their G-Unit era." And I kept thinking about that when I listened to "Us Against The World," a recent top 5 hit in the UK that sounds even more like a 50 Cent album track from 2005. The Digga D verse is not bad but doesn't rescue a mediocre song.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: C
"Y'all Want Me (Remix)" by John'Nay Lasha featuring Kali
This song is fucking awful, John'Nay Lasha sounds terrible and says things like "entanglements like August/ what you doin' with all this/ dive in like ball pits." Kali's verse is fine, though, she shows more potential on here than on "Area Codes."
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: B-
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on Monday, June 19, 2023 at 8:01 AM.
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