The 2009 Remix Report Card, Vol. 2
"Beep (Remix)" by Bobby Valentino featuring Ludacris, Lil Wayne and Lil Kim
It's nice that Luda is cool enough to appear on this even after he kicked Bobby's ass off DTP, but his verse is seriously disappointing on this, I can't remember the last time he sounded this lackluster on a remix or single. Wayne, on the other hand, has sounded plenty lackluster lately but has a kind of enjoyably laid back flow. Lol Kim still has the most disgusting AutoTuned voice in rap.
Best Verse: Lil Wayne
Overall Grade: B-
"Blame It (Remix)" by Jamie Foxx featuring Busta Rhymes and Lil Wayne
The more I hear this song, the more I'm convinced it's one of the best tracks T-Pain has done in a while. The groove is so suited to melodic singing that I'm not really that crazy about hearing rappers on it, though, especially these two dried out husks of once-great guest verse experts. Wayne's topical drink metaphor riff is one of his more cohesive verses of late, though.
Best Verse: Lil Wayne
Overall Grade: C
"Good Lovin' (Remix)" by Slim featuring Jermaine Dupri and Bow Wow
I know that this song isn't a huge hit and Slim is pretty B-list, but it's still really disappointing to hear a track this good thrown to a couple clowns like J.D. and Bow Wow for the remix, there are a lot of MCs that would kill that beat. I mean, with the right ghostwriter either of them coulda brought some heat, but they did not, and the Fab verse from the original tacked onto the end effortlessly slays their efforts.
Best Verse: Jermaine Dupri
Overall Grade: D
"Lions, Tigers & Bears (Remix)" by Jazmine Sullivan featuring Fabolous
This is definitely the most hilarious trainwreck remix I've heard in quite some time. I was surprised enough to see that there was a remix of this song to begin with, with its dramatic strings and total lack of drums, and even more so that Fab was on, and just assumed that maybe they had a hip hop producer remix the beat, too. But it really is just Fab rapping in a halting cadence over the song's stately waltz, and I have no idea who ever thought that would work but bless them for trying.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: B+
"My President (Remix)" by Jay-Z featuring Young Jeezy
This song has grown on me, although it's still probably my least favorite track on The Recession, but I enjoy that it's still essentially just another ignorant Jeezy anthem that just happens to namecheck Obama rather than some earnest will.i.am bullshit. So Jay's appearance on here tips it a little further toward being another cheesy-ass Obama song, and even the good parts of his voice are kinda labored. I'm so glad Jeezy added a new verse, though, I could listen to rappers chew out Bill O'Reilly all day.
Best Verse: Young Jeezy
Overall Grade: B-
"Rockin' That Shit (Remix)" by The-Dream featuring Fabolous, Juelz Santana, Ludacris and Rick Ross
This song has been riding the wave of my newfound tolerance for The-Dream's questionable talent and has been stuck in my head more than any other song lately. I don't know if it really needed a remix but it is kind of nice to hear a true posse cut remix with several independently famous guys on it, which is weirdly kind of rare these days. I was just saying nice things about Rick Ross on this page the other day, so of course he has to be as lazy and half-assed as possible. Once again, Luda's flow sounds strangely slow and stilted, like his voice is suddenly lacking all its expressive elasticity. Is he just depressed about the sales of Theater Of The Mind or something?
Best Verse: Fabolous
Overall Grade: B
It's nice that Luda is cool enough to appear on this even after he kicked Bobby's ass off DTP, but his verse is seriously disappointing on this, I can't remember the last time he sounded this lackluster on a remix or single. Wayne, on the other hand, has sounded plenty lackluster lately but has a kind of enjoyably laid back flow. Lol Kim still has the most disgusting AutoTuned voice in rap.
Best Verse: Lil Wayne
Overall Grade: B-
"Blame It (Remix)" by Jamie Foxx featuring Busta Rhymes and Lil Wayne
The more I hear this song, the more I'm convinced it's one of the best tracks T-Pain has done in a while. The groove is so suited to melodic singing that I'm not really that crazy about hearing rappers on it, though, especially these two dried out husks of once-great guest verse experts. Wayne's topical drink metaphor riff is one of his more cohesive verses of late, though.
Best Verse: Lil Wayne
Overall Grade: C
"Good Lovin' (Remix)" by Slim featuring Jermaine Dupri and Bow Wow
I know that this song isn't a huge hit and Slim is pretty B-list, but it's still really disappointing to hear a track this good thrown to a couple clowns like J.D. and Bow Wow for the remix, there are a lot of MCs that would kill that beat. I mean, with the right ghostwriter either of them coulda brought some heat, but they did not, and the Fab verse from the original tacked onto the end effortlessly slays their efforts.
Best Verse: Jermaine Dupri
Overall Grade: D
"Lions, Tigers & Bears (Remix)" by Jazmine Sullivan featuring Fabolous
This is definitely the most hilarious trainwreck remix I've heard in quite some time. I was surprised enough to see that there was a remix of this song to begin with, with its dramatic strings and total lack of drums, and even more so that Fab was on, and just assumed that maybe they had a hip hop producer remix the beat, too. But it really is just Fab rapping in a halting cadence over the song's stately waltz, and I have no idea who ever thought that would work but bless them for trying.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: B+
"My President (Remix)" by Jay-Z featuring Young Jeezy
This song has grown on me, although it's still probably my least favorite track on The Recession, but I enjoy that it's still essentially just another ignorant Jeezy anthem that just happens to namecheck Obama rather than some earnest will.i.am bullshit. So Jay's appearance on here tips it a little further toward being another cheesy-ass Obama song, and even the good parts of his voice are kinda labored. I'm so glad Jeezy added a new verse, though, I could listen to rappers chew out Bill O'Reilly all day.
Best Verse: Young Jeezy
Overall Grade: B-
"Rockin' That Shit (Remix)" by The-Dream featuring Fabolous, Juelz Santana, Ludacris and Rick Ross
This song has been riding the wave of my newfound tolerance for The-Dream's questionable talent and has been stuck in my head more than any other song lately. I don't know if it really needed a remix but it is kind of nice to hear a true posse cut remix with several independently famous guys on it, which is weirdly kind of rare these days. I was just saying nice things about Rick Ross on this page the other day, so of course he has to be as lazy and half-assed as possible. Once again, Luda's flow sounds strangely slow and stilted, like his voice is suddenly lacking all its expressive elasticity. Is he just depressed about the sales of Theater Of The Mind or something?
Best Verse: Fabolous
Overall Grade: B
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