"Bandz A Make Her Dance (Remix)" by Juicy J featuring French Montana, LoLa Monroe, Wiz Khalifa and B.o.B
Now that the first remix with Lil Wayne and 2 Chainz has been effectively instituted as the 'original' version and the (superior) solo Juicy J mixtape track forgotten by time, we get another, more overstuffed remix. After I spent the last few months tying "Bandz" and "Pop That" together as part of the 'horror movie strip club' rap radio trend, there's some kind of singularity happening when French shows up to recycle the flow from his own single. LoLa Monroe flows ok (and is still the video chick GOAT, props to Los for knocking her up) but her style is embarrassingly Nicki-lite. Wiz has his moments, B.o.B tries to turn the clock back on his crossover days after Taylor Swift duets weren't working but it's all just sad, and once again Juicy J has the best verse on any version of this song.
Best Verse: Juicy J
Overall Grade: B-

"Diamonds (Remix)" by Rihanna featuring Kanye West
I will stan for StarGate as the most consistent producers in top over the last few years, to the point that even when they make a song I hate, my beef is more with the vocals/lyrics than the track (see also: "Firework"). Still I was a little shocked at how much this beat is transformed when you hear a voice besides Rihanna's on it -- turning on the radio I was like "damn this new Kanye is fire, I don't remember anything from Cruel Summer being this good." Plus the whole Roc/"Diamonds From Sierra Leone" angle, while on the nose, works. Even with some really cringe-inducing lines and that Fresh Prince tangent (and that mask he wore while performing this the other night), Kanye just brings the perfect energy to redeem this track.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: B+

"Die Young (Remix)" by Ke$ha featuring Wiz Khalifa, Juicy J and Becky G
I'm not sure who this Becky G person is, but putting her on tracks with more established white girl kinda-rappers like Ke$ha and Cher Lloyd doesn't really work, and having the remix with her and with Wiz and Juicy seems like trying to do two things at once and failing at both.
Best Verse: Juicy J
Overall Grade: C

"No Worries (Remix)" by Lil Wayne f/ Rick Ross and Detail
Just a Ross verse tacked onto the original, absolutely nothing to see her, notwithstanding gross line about dick-biting.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: C

"Sorry (Remix)" by Ciara featuring Future
"Promise" is an all-time classic and this song is OK but Ciara really just shouldn't have tried to shamelessly to rewrite her greatest song. But that blueprint is corroded enough by the Future version that it becomes its own thing and it's pretty tremendous -- even Ciara's vocal is just ten times better and more engaged.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: A

"Turn On The Lights (Remix)" by Future featuring Ciara
I'm not mad at the rash of Future thug love R&B duets the last few months -- Rihanna's "Loveeeeeee Song" is great and the Kelly Rowland single version of "Neva End" is a good way of flipping a song that would otherwise be too similar to "Turn On The Lights" to function as a good follow-up single. But this Ciara/Future combo, while not as bad as the Weezy remix of "Lights" a few months ago, just doesn't work nearly as well as the "Sorry" remix. That weird midrange voice she's doing is just bad.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: D

"Who Booty (Remix)" by Jonn Hart featuring French Montana
It's bad enough that IamSu! got pushed further out of the spotlight in that LoveRance song by the 50 Cent version, but now he's on another up-and-coming hit and east coast radio's been stealing a west coast cat's shine in order to get another terrible French verse on the radio.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: F

This entry was posted on Monday, December 31, 2012 at 1:30 PM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.