The 2024 Remix Report Card Vol. 2
Here's Vol. 1 and here's the Spotify playlist:
"Act III: On God? (Remix)" by 4batz featuring Kanye West
Kanye West verses are generally dogshit these days, but especially hearing him bark at an ex on an R&B song, repulsive stuff.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: F
"Bitch Duh (Remix)" by Dreezy featuring BIA, KenTheMan and Lakeyah
Dreezy is such an underrated artist, she can do a lot of things well and "Bitch Duh" feels like her doing the kind of disrespectful banger that you'd expect from other artists, so it works well for a posse cut remix. BIA's verse, which feels a little flimsy at only 8 bars (compared to 12 bars from Lakeyah and KenTheMan), has a couple Cardi B subliminals, and we'll get into Cardi's response later in the column.
Best Verse: KenTheMan
Overall Grade: B-
"Bulletproof (Remix)" by Nate Smith featuring Avril Lavigne
Nate Smith sings "shots, shots, shots" in a sort of LMFAO cadence on "Bulletproof" so I kind of wish the remix was with DJ Redfoo. Avril's voice does not sound good on this, just feels like a random pairing as far as cross-genre collaborations go.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: D
"Can't Get Enough (Dutty Remix)" by Jennifer Lopez featuring Sean Paul
I already covered the other remix with Latto in my last column, but "Can't Get Enough" interpolates Sean Paul and Sasha's classic "I'm Still In Love With You" so I'm glad she was able to get Sean Paul on an additional remix. The back-and-forth thing they do on the chorus is so good that it feels like that should've been the original record, and then it gets even better when the original track gets sampled on Sean Paul's verse.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: B+
"Fisherr (Remix)" by Cash Cobain featuring Ice Spice and Bay Swag
This remix was treated as a big deal when it dropped, an established artist co-signing a rising artist, but it has yet to get more streams than the original "Fisherr." That's a good flow for Ice Spice, though, she should do more work with Cash Cobain for her album.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: B
"FTCU (Sleezemix)" by Nicki Minaj featuring Travis Scott, Chris Brown and Sexyy Red
It kinda cracked me up the way the whole sound of the track changed when Travis Scott's verse started, a little synth line comes in and he's got all his vocal reverb, it's so dramatic. But I find the original "FTCU" kind of boring and barebones, so I appreciate some bells and whistles. Chris Brown's verse has bad vibes even by his standards, just unpleasant. I like how Nicki jumps in and does a few bars in the middle of Sexyy Red's verse, I wish more remixes felt like a real collaboration like that.
Best Verse: Travis Scott
Overall Grade: C+
"Like That (Remix)" by Future & Metro Boomin featuring Kanye West and Ty Dolla Sign
By far the worst chapter in the whole Drake/Kendrick saga of 2024 was Kanye trying to force his way into the middle of it, although he was at least justifiably ignored by everybody else. It also has some Future bars that are apparently from a leaked early version of "Like That," I'm just gonna put it on Metro being corny for co-signing this remix. The washed MAGA rapper can get two F's in one column, I think that's a Remix Report Card first.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: F
"Made For Me (Remix)" by Muni Long featuring Mariah Carey
Mariah's harmonies on the chorus are the best part of this remix, her verse doesn't sound great. I don't know, maybe I'm unfair to Mariah because every singer's voice changes when they get older, but it's just harder to appreciate those changes when it's someone who used to have an amazing range and crystal clear tone when they were younger. But she's also just doing a bunch of fancy triplet patterns instead of singing Muni Long's great melody from the original, it's frustrating to listen to.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: C
"Put That On Everythang (Legends Remix)" by Pookie F'n Rude featuring Suga Free, Warren G, E-40 and Hash Hearted
I love west coast unity, it's always fun to hear some of the '90s vets jump on a record by a newer artist like Long Beach rapper Pookie F'n Rude. It's fun to hear Warren G comfortable on a contemporary track and E-40 always rips a feature, but Suga Free's opening line is just hilarious.
Best Verse: Suga Free
Overall Grade: B+
"Sunday Service (Remix)" by Latto featuring Megan Thee Stallion and Flo Milli
I really like this record and for a minute it felt like it was getting lost in the shuffle, so seeing it get a big remix with two rappers that I love is awesome. Meg switches her flow every 4 bars, killer verse.
Best Verse: Megan Thee Stallion
Overall Grade: A+
"Swag It! (Remix)" by Chow Lee featuring Flo Milli
"Swag It!" was produced by Cash Cobain and is very much in the same lane as "Fisherr," but it's kind of is a shit song, like "they call me Mr. Vagina...not 'cause I'm pussy but I know that pussy like inside and outside" may not even be worst thing Chow Lee says. Flo Milli can do no wrong in my eyes but this track doesn't really feel like a natural fit for her.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: C
"Texas Hold 'Em (Pony Up Remix)" by Beyonce
I put this on with low expectations, like I thought she was gonna sample Ginuwine the same way she sampled Twista on the "Cuff It" remix. But no, this is awesome, it's just the original song for the first half, and then it turns into a whole different track with some new Beyonce vocals. Khirye Tyler and Beyonce's longtime engineer Stuart White are the only 2 producers credited on the remix that didn't also produce the original, so I assume this is primarily their handiwork. "Texas Hold 'Em" did the best on pop radio, followed by R&B radio, followed by country radio. And I think R&B radio might have embraced the song a little more if this remix got a bigger push or came out sooner.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: A-
"The 360 Remix" by Charli XCX featuring Robyn and Yung Lean
This remix is so funny, like why is Charli going back-and-forth and bar-for-bar with two Swedes like Jada and Styles. They don't really have separate verses but Charli L-O-X has the best flow and the fewest embarrassing lines.
Best Verse: Charli XCX
Overall Grade: C
"Touchin' (Remix)" by Honey Bxby featuring Busta Rhymes
"Touchin' (Remix)" by Honey Bxby featuring Capella Grey
"Touchin' (Remix)" by Honey Bxby featuring Kaliii
I remember once observing that "Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Could See" was one of the most iconic '90s rap songs that had never really been sampled a lot. And then this year we've had two songs sampling it competing for spins on R&B radio. Offset and Don Toliver's "Worth It" was the bigger hit, but I prefer "Touchin'" and Honey Bxby was the one who got Busta on a remix. I'm a huge Busta Rhymes fan and appreciate his incredible longevity, but it's weird hearing him rap on a '97 Busta beat in that constipated flow he's used a lot since the mid-2000s. The Capella Grey remix has a really cool chopped up intro, but Kaliii had the best verse. There's also a "Touchin'" remix with a new beat by Ron Browz that's pretty good.
Best Verse: Kaliii
Overall Grade: B-
"U N D R E S S (Remix)" by Jack Freeman featuring Jagged Edge
I feel like it's become cool to hate on Jagged Edge, they didn't have vocals on the same level as a lot of the other male R&B groups of their era, but they had some great songs. So I like hearing them on Houston singer's Jack Freeman's single, which has a bit of a '90s vibe. Or maybe it's just one of the Casey brothers singing a verse, it doesn't really sound like all of Jagged Edge is on here, but whatever.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: B
"Wanna Be (Remix)" by GloRilla featuring Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion
I hate the way women in rap have kind of divided into these Nicki vs. Cardi civil war factions, but I will admit that I listen to a lot more music from the Cardi/Meg/Latto/Glo/Flo side of things and have enjoyed hearing them on songs together lately. Cardi subs BIA in response to the "Bitch Duh" remix and I had no idea they were dissing each other until BIA did her response track, I feel like she should've just left it alone because Cardi kinda cooked her on here. Also, it's hilarious how after the outro where GloRilla says "go Meg" and Megan says "get 'em Glo," Cardi jumps on there and says "go me."
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: B+
"Where The Fun N****s At? (Remix)" by Asian Doll featuring Gloss Up
Gloss Up has released three great projects in 2023 and 2024, really one of my favorite rappers right now, but her verse on this is just okay, not something I would point to as an example of her talent.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: C+
This entry was posted
on Monday, June 17, 2024 at 8:40 AM.
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