Movie Diary
1. Transformers
I skipped all the big sequels, but this was the one big summer movie I had to see. Transformers were pretty much my earliest childhood obsession, my brother Zac and I had a ton of the toys and would make up dialogue and elaborate plotlines for our own battle scenes. I haven't owned any Transformers for years, but Zac's kind of kept up with it and has become a big part of the Transformers fan community and has been to Botcon and met some of the voice actors from the cartoon, so he's always kept me abreast of developments with this movie for the last few years, and I was pretty hyped to finally see it. I was happy with the choice of Michael Bay for director; a franchise like Transformers was probably never going to attract a filmmaker as credible as Sam Raimi or Peter Jackson, so I'm glad they got an A-list fauxteur instead of a less experienced hack. Still, this movie didn't quite approach the over-the-top awesomeness of his high water mark, The Rock.
Things I liked: Peter motherfucking Cullen (the audience in my theater applauded twice during the movie, when annoying-ass Frenzy died and when Cullen boomed "I AM OPTIMUS PRIME"), the balance of action and exposition in the first half, John Turturro, the Even Stevens kid, that first time you hear the 'transform' sound effect. Things I didn't like: not enough Decepticon dialogue and interaction (some Megatron/Starscream bickering would've been nice), too much time spent on generic soldier-with-a-baby-at-home/high-school-teacher-with-a-bowtie characterization, really cheesy Hackers-level fake computer lingo, scenes with people like Jon Voight and Anthony Anderson that could've come out of any action movie from the past 10 years, and some of the battle scenes were just a little too overwhelming with the 'realistic' shakey camera work. Also, I'm kind of annoyed that they went with the whole 'Allspark' thing that was originated with the shitty Beast Wars TV series, instead of the old school energon cubes and 'the matrix' (which I guess they wouldn't have gotten away with now after The Matrix movies). Still, it was a pretty great spectacle, and I really hope it clears the path for a sequel with an even bigger budget and improved visual effects.
2. Farm Sluts
When I stumbled across the IMDb entry for a short film featuring Chris Parnell, Catherine Keener's hot sister, and the likeably obnoxious guy from Cellular and Hostel, my interest was piqued and I found it on YouTube. Unfortunately, after a funny first few minutes, the premise doesn't really go anywhere except really well worn 'black comedy' and suicide gags. For 17 minutes. If they put this on SNL it would've been torture to sit through and I would've switched channels pretty quickly. The worst part is, it doesn't even really utilize Parnell's comedic talents that much, he barely talks and just stands around looking embarrassed the whole time.
3. Fever Pitch
And while the underrated Parnell gets nothing but short films and small supporting roles and 30 Rock walkons, the barely competent Jimmy Fallon gets to headline a Farrelly bros. flick. It was kind of charmingly lightweight, though, and thank god he didn't do the fake Boston accent from that one SNL sketch he always used to do.
4. Jawbreaker
I thought Rose McGowan was the hottest thing ever back when this movie came out, but never got around to actually seeing it until it was on cable recently. And even though the late 90s was a really good time for raunchy and slightly campy teen comedies, this one pretty much falls flat. There's a lot of cursing and death-related humor and it still all just kind of breezes by. I didn't laugh once, and it didn't even really feel like it was trying to make me laugh, it just had a vague atmosphere of levity but never did anything with it.
I skipped all the big sequels, but this was the one big summer movie I had to see. Transformers were pretty much my earliest childhood obsession, my brother Zac and I had a ton of the toys and would make up dialogue and elaborate plotlines for our own battle scenes. I haven't owned any Transformers for years, but Zac's kind of kept up with it and has become a big part of the Transformers fan community and has been to Botcon and met some of the voice actors from the cartoon, so he's always kept me abreast of developments with this movie for the last few years, and I was pretty hyped to finally see it. I was happy with the choice of Michael Bay for director; a franchise like Transformers was probably never going to attract a filmmaker as credible as Sam Raimi or Peter Jackson, so I'm glad they got an A-list fauxteur instead of a less experienced hack. Still, this movie didn't quite approach the over-the-top awesomeness of his high water mark, The Rock.
Things I liked: Peter motherfucking Cullen (the audience in my theater applauded twice during the movie, when annoying-ass Frenzy died and when Cullen boomed "I AM OPTIMUS PRIME"), the balance of action and exposition in the first half, John Turturro, the Even Stevens kid, that first time you hear the 'transform' sound effect. Things I didn't like: not enough Decepticon dialogue and interaction (some Megatron/Starscream bickering would've been nice), too much time spent on generic soldier-with-a-baby-at-home/high-school-teacher-with-a-bowtie characterization, really cheesy Hackers-level fake computer lingo, scenes with people like Jon Voight and Anthony Anderson that could've come out of any action movie from the past 10 years, and some of the battle scenes were just a little too overwhelming with the 'realistic' shakey camera work. Also, I'm kind of annoyed that they went with the whole 'Allspark' thing that was originated with the shitty Beast Wars TV series, instead of the old school energon cubes and 'the matrix' (which I guess they wouldn't have gotten away with now after The Matrix movies). Still, it was a pretty great spectacle, and I really hope it clears the path for a sequel with an even bigger budget and improved visual effects.
2. Farm Sluts
When I stumbled across the IMDb entry for a short film featuring Chris Parnell, Catherine Keener's hot sister, and the likeably obnoxious guy from Cellular and Hostel, my interest was piqued and I found it on YouTube. Unfortunately, after a funny first few minutes, the premise doesn't really go anywhere except really well worn 'black comedy' and suicide gags. For 17 minutes. If they put this on SNL it would've been torture to sit through and I would've switched channels pretty quickly. The worst part is, it doesn't even really utilize Parnell's comedic talents that much, he barely talks and just stands around looking embarrassed the whole time.
3. Fever Pitch
And while the underrated Parnell gets nothing but short films and small supporting roles and 30 Rock walkons, the barely competent Jimmy Fallon gets to headline a Farrelly bros. flick. It was kind of charmingly lightweight, though, and thank god he didn't do the fake Boston accent from that one SNL sketch he always used to do.
4. Jawbreaker
I thought Rose McGowan was the hottest thing ever back when this movie came out, but never got around to actually seeing it until it was on cable recently. And even though the late 90s was a really good time for raunchy and slightly campy teen comedies, this one pretty much falls flat. There's a lot of cursing and death-related humor and it still all just kind of breezes by. I didn't laugh once, and it didn't even really feel like it was trying to make me laugh, it just had a vague atmosphere of levity but never did anything with it.
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on Thursday, July 05, 2007 at 10:43 AM.
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