The 2008 Remix Report Card, Vol. 5
"Bye Bye (Remix)" by Mariah Carey featuring Jay-Z and Jermaine Dupri
On the posthumous remix of Aaliyah's "I Miss You," Jay-Z took a generic R&B breakup ballad that had taken on a poignant context, and made it even moreso with an uncharacteristically heartfelt, sincere verse directed at the late Aaliyah herself. The original "Bye Bye" shoots for a poignant tribute to unnamed lost loved ones, and still lands as bland and calculated, especially with Jay on the remix and Jermaine grunting in the background. Jay's double-time was no less awkward on "I Miss You," but it's almost too aggressive for the beat here.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: C-
"Can't Help But Wait (Desert Storm Remix)" by Trey Songz featuring Rick Ross
Time for another comparison to a semi-classic Jay-Z remix! DJ Clue gives Trey's hit almost the exact same makeover the Trackmasters gave Mya's "Best Of You" for Clue's Backstage soundtrack, except with the drastic downgrade to the beard that hip-hop has aligned itself with (unsuccessfully) avoid seeming gay. If you think you've already heard a remix of this song with Plies, you're right, but this one seems to be official, too. Go figure.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: C+
"Customer (Remix)" by Raheem DeVaughn featuring R. Kelly
When I wrote about DeVaughn's The Love Experience a while back, one of my main criticisms of the album was that, if I may quote myself, "the bland metaphors of songs like 'Love Drug' and 'Customer' are reminders that there are worse ways to liken everything to love or sex than the broad, ridiculous but sometimes inspired way R. Kelly approaches that formula." Turns out R. himself made a similiar connection in a more favorable light, stating affectionately on this remix that "this song reminds me of something I would do," in that tone that you just know means the only way he knows how to flatter a peer is to compare them to himself. The song has actually grown on me a lot in the past couple months, although more as an album track than as a single, so I was kinda primed for the remix and surprised by how right Kells sounds over that beat. For the most part, though, it's nothing special, with R. generally still weirdly obsessed with biting his latest stylistic descendant The-Dream (the whole "you should tip us" bit), filling bars with borderline nonsense ("ya-aah, you be screaming ya-aah"), and setting a new high/low for holy-shit-is-he-kidding controversy-baiting insanity ("if you thirsty, I got some good good lemonade").
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: B-
"Drifter (Remix)" by Shawty Redd featuring Snoop Dogg
Considering that Snoop took the original "Drifter" as inspiration to collaborate with Shawty Redd and make the similiar "Sensual Seduction," it's pretty much redundant for them to get back together and make a remix of the former track. Shawty Redd's singing has always been the weak link of the track (his voice is almost as unpleasant when Autotuned as Lil Wayne's), he probably should've let Snoop sing it in addition to rapping.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: C
"Love In This Club, Part II" by Usher featuring Beyonce and Lil Wayne
Make no mistake, this is a remix (Wayne even declares, as annoyingly as ever, that "it's the remix, baby"), but the subtle "Part II" distinction makes Billboard chart it as a seperate entry from the original "Love In This Club," which should score him a 2nd big advance hit for his new album where a mere remix's airplay would otherwise be counted towards the first version's numbers. You'd think the addition of R&B's alpha female to make this a duet would be enough, but perhaps Ursher realized that his rival Timberlake already did the same thing with the "Until The End Of Time" remix and had to one-up him somehow, and of course the ubuquitous Weezy was the answer. His verse on this is awful. Worse that the most stomach-turning groaning wheezing moments of "Lollipop," even. I really hope most of the songs that make it onto Tha Carter III were recorded before the syrup fried his brain and destroyed his voice.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: D
On the posthumous remix of Aaliyah's "I Miss You," Jay-Z took a generic R&B breakup ballad that had taken on a poignant context, and made it even moreso with an uncharacteristically heartfelt, sincere verse directed at the late Aaliyah herself. The original "Bye Bye" shoots for a poignant tribute to unnamed lost loved ones, and still lands as bland and calculated, especially with Jay on the remix and Jermaine grunting in the background. Jay's double-time was no less awkward on "I Miss You," but it's almost too aggressive for the beat here.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: C-
"Can't Help But Wait (Desert Storm Remix)" by Trey Songz featuring Rick Ross
Time for another comparison to a semi-classic Jay-Z remix! DJ Clue gives Trey's hit almost the exact same makeover the Trackmasters gave Mya's "Best Of You" for Clue's Backstage soundtrack, except with the drastic downgrade to the beard that hip-hop has aligned itself with (unsuccessfully) avoid seeming gay. If you think you've already heard a remix of this song with Plies, you're right, but this one seems to be official, too. Go figure.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: C+
"Customer (Remix)" by Raheem DeVaughn featuring R. Kelly
When I wrote about DeVaughn's The Love Experience a while back, one of my main criticisms of the album was that, if I may quote myself, "the bland metaphors of songs like 'Love Drug' and 'Customer' are reminders that there are worse ways to liken everything to love or sex than the broad, ridiculous but sometimes inspired way R. Kelly approaches that formula." Turns out R. himself made a similiar connection in a more favorable light, stating affectionately on this remix that "this song reminds me of something I would do," in that tone that you just know means the only way he knows how to flatter a peer is to compare them to himself. The song has actually grown on me a lot in the past couple months, although more as an album track than as a single, so I was kinda primed for the remix and surprised by how right Kells sounds over that beat. For the most part, though, it's nothing special, with R. generally still weirdly obsessed with biting his latest stylistic descendant The-Dream (the whole "you should tip us" bit), filling bars with borderline nonsense ("ya-aah, you be screaming ya-aah"), and setting a new high/low for holy-shit-is-he-kidding controversy-baiting insanity ("if you thirsty, I got some good good lemonade").
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: B-
"Drifter (Remix)" by Shawty Redd featuring Snoop Dogg
Considering that Snoop took the original "Drifter" as inspiration to collaborate with Shawty Redd and make the similiar "Sensual Seduction," it's pretty much redundant for them to get back together and make a remix of the former track. Shawty Redd's singing has always been the weak link of the track (his voice is almost as unpleasant when Autotuned as Lil Wayne's), he probably should've let Snoop sing it in addition to rapping.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: C
"Love In This Club, Part II" by Usher featuring Beyonce and Lil Wayne
Make no mistake, this is a remix (Wayne even declares, as annoyingly as ever, that "it's the remix, baby"), but the subtle "Part II" distinction makes Billboard chart it as a seperate entry from the original "Love In This Club," which should score him a 2nd big advance hit for his new album where a mere remix's airplay would otherwise be counted towards the first version's numbers. You'd think the addition of R&B's alpha female to make this a duet would be enough, but perhaps Ursher realized that his rival Timberlake already did the same thing with the "Until The End Of Time" remix and had to one-up him somehow, and of course the ubuquitous Weezy was the answer. His verse on this is awful. Worse that the most stomach-turning groaning wheezing moments of "Lollipop," even. I really hope most of the songs that make it onto Tha Carter III were recorded before the syrup fried his brain and destroyed his voice.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: D
This entry was posted
on Tuesday, May 06, 2008 at 12:38 PM.
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i still can't believe this
i doubt it, though maybe since "label executives" are choosing the tracks because wayne "doesn't want that headache" we might see less drug-fucked tracks than we would if it was all his doing.
I literally almost crashed the 1st time I heard him say that.