The 2009 Remix Report Card, Vol. 6
"All The Above (Remix)" by Maino featuring Young Jeezy and T-Pain
I hate this song in all its empty "on a mission to be/ what I'm destined to be" platitudes and bad "Live Your Life"-knockoff beat, to the point that I don't even wanna listen to the remix and put up with the beat and the awful chorus one more time, but here we go. Maino kinda goes in, not unlike he did on the "Hi Hater" remix, like he seems to get a better idea of how to flow on a song once he gets a second chance at it, but still on some lame up-with-people shit. Jeezy still owns it, though.
Best Verse: Young Jeezy
Overall Grade: C+
"Always Strapped (Remix)" by Birdman featuring Lil Wayne, Rick Ross and Young Jeezy
When I first wrote about this track a few months ago, I praised it for featuring Wayne in the kind of dry deadpan style that he "hasn’t been focusing on regularly for 2 or 3 years now," not realizing that the reason it sounds like that is that he originally recorded it with Juelz Santana back in 2006, before he drowned in syrup and AutoTune and the sound of his own fake laugh. So it was kind of funny to first hear this remix when a DJ blended into it from the original, so you hear 2006 Wayne right next to cackling animated 2009 Wayne -- which isn't really as huge a step down as it would be if it were 2008 Wayne, which was probably his nadir as a rapper before he kinda pulled his skills back together, but he still kinda wastes space and doesn't drop a single hot line. The original's beat (co-produced by Lil C of "Shoulder Lean" fame) was killer but they change it up a little here and it ain't bad. Jeezy has one of those moments where he tries a flow that it's a little out of his comfort zone and you wanna give him credit for the effort but really you wish he'd just swing back in one of those familiar "YEAHHHH" type verses. Rick Ross gets the track's sole quotable with "spend a night with me, baby, you can write a book," which is a shame considering how easily the other guys on this should be embarrassing him.
Best Verse: Rick Ross
Overall Grade: B-
"Boyfriend #2 (Remix)" by Pleasure P featuring Flo Rida
This song was always kinda bland and generic to me in its original form, but somehow upping the tempo to a kind of jock jams beat and letting Flo Rida spit on it is a huge improvement.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: B
"Halle Berry (Remix)" by Hurricane Chris featuring Ludacris, Lil Boosie, Yo Gotti, Pitbull, Beenie Man, Yung Joc & C-Ride
This is definitely one of the best-looking remix lineups I've seen in a minute, but it kinda fails to live up to expectations right off the bat, with Luda dropping another weird verse sounding way off his game like on the "Rockin' That Shit" remix. Nice to hear Yo Gotti on a big remix like that although he sounds kinda out of his element, but funny how both Boosie and Yo Gotti go straight to Keyshia Cole when listing other famous chicks they like. I think every big posse remix should have a token dancehall guy like Beenie Man on it. Boosie kills it but his mini-me Hurricane Chris makes a pretty decent effort at trying to keep up.
Best Verse: Lil Boosie
Overall Grade: B+
"Magnificent (Remix)" by Rick Ross featuring Diddy, Special Ed, Big Boi and John Legend
Special Ed acquits himself pretty well in the old throw-an-old-school-rapper-a-bone remix guest spot, although I really did not need to hear him say "Twitter." It's pretty funny that they leaked a version of this without Diddy, then made a point of releasing the 'final' version with all his boring ad libs on here like it makes a damn difference.
Best Verse: Big Boi
Overall Grade: B-
"Must Be Love (Remix)" by Cassie featuring Busta Rhymes, Day26, Red Cafe and Diddy
The video for this song was so ill that for a second it almost made me think I might actually like the song, but coming back to it now yeah, it's pretty weak. Diddy letting his R&B game show flunkies sing on this is actually way doper than any boring rappers doing bedroom-voice flows over it.
Best Verse: Day26
Overall Grade: C+
"Stupid (Remix)" by Playaz Circle featuring Young Jeezy and Lil Wayne
I like Tity Boi and would like to see Playaz Circle do well, but this song is generic as fuck and the remix is no different, everyone goes exactly where you expect them to with the concept.
Best Verse: Young Jeezy
Overall Grade: D
"Swag Surfin' (Remix)" by Fast Life Youngstaz featuring Fabolous, Juelz Santana, Red Cafe and Maino
I had to look at wikipedia to make sure I had the name of the group that does this song right, these guys are so anonymous they make the Shop Boyz seem memorable. I literally have been like "beat's nice, I'll wait for the remix" since the first time I heard this song, although I was actually pretty late on hearing the remix, turns out it's been out a couple months already. Anyway Fab kills it as expected, Juelz annoying as expected.
Best Verse: Fabolous
Overall Grade: B-
"Who's Real (Remix)" by Jadakiss featuring DMX, Eve, Drag-On, Styles P. and Sheek Louch
If the whole Ruff Ryders core was gonna reunite on a remix of Swizz track, I wish it wasn't the whole with the stupid-ass "if you're real and you know it clap your hands" hook, but this song seems a little more decent without goddamn OJ Da Juiceman on it. DMX already posted some slightly pathetic tweets thanking Kiss for giving him the chance to appear on this remix, but his verse is at least a little less incoherent than his last big comeback remix appearance on "Touch It."
Best Verse: Jadakiss
Overall Grade: B-
I hate this song in all its empty "on a mission to be/ what I'm destined to be" platitudes and bad "Live Your Life"-knockoff beat, to the point that I don't even wanna listen to the remix and put up with the beat and the awful chorus one more time, but here we go. Maino kinda goes in, not unlike he did on the "Hi Hater" remix, like he seems to get a better idea of how to flow on a song once he gets a second chance at it, but still on some lame up-with-people shit. Jeezy still owns it, though.
Best Verse: Young Jeezy
Overall Grade: C+
"Always Strapped (Remix)" by Birdman featuring Lil Wayne, Rick Ross and Young Jeezy
When I first wrote about this track a few months ago, I praised it for featuring Wayne in the kind of dry deadpan style that he "hasn’t been focusing on regularly for 2 or 3 years now," not realizing that the reason it sounds like that is that he originally recorded it with Juelz Santana back in 2006, before he drowned in syrup and AutoTune and the sound of his own fake laugh. So it was kind of funny to first hear this remix when a DJ blended into it from the original, so you hear 2006 Wayne right next to cackling animated 2009 Wayne -- which isn't really as huge a step down as it would be if it were 2008 Wayne, which was probably his nadir as a rapper before he kinda pulled his skills back together, but he still kinda wastes space and doesn't drop a single hot line. The original's beat (co-produced by Lil C of "Shoulder Lean" fame) was killer but they change it up a little here and it ain't bad. Jeezy has one of those moments where he tries a flow that it's a little out of his comfort zone and you wanna give him credit for the effort but really you wish he'd just swing back in one of those familiar "YEAHHHH" type verses. Rick Ross gets the track's sole quotable with "spend a night with me, baby, you can write a book," which is a shame considering how easily the other guys on this should be embarrassing him.
Best Verse: Rick Ross
Overall Grade: B-
"Boyfriend #2 (Remix)" by Pleasure P featuring Flo Rida
This song was always kinda bland and generic to me in its original form, but somehow upping the tempo to a kind of jock jams beat and letting Flo Rida spit on it is a huge improvement.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: B
"Halle Berry (Remix)" by Hurricane Chris featuring Ludacris, Lil Boosie, Yo Gotti, Pitbull, Beenie Man, Yung Joc & C-Ride
This is definitely one of the best-looking remix lineups I've seen in a minute, but it kinda fails to live up to expectations right off the bat, with Luda dropping another weird verse sounding way off his game like on the "Rockin' That Shit" remix. Nice to hear Yo Gotti on a big remix like that although he sounds kinda out of his element, but funny how both Boosie and Yo Gotti go straight to Keyshia Cole when listing other famous chicks they like. I think every big posse remix should have a token dancehall guy like Beenie Man on it. Boosie kills it but his mini-me Hurricane Chris makes a pretty decent effort at trying to keep up.
Best Verse: Lil Boosie
Overall Grade: B+
"Magnificent (Remix)" by Rick Ross featuring Diddy, Special Ed, Big Boi and John Legend
Special Ed acquits himself pretty well in the old throw-an-old-school-rapper-a-bone remix guest spot, although I really did not need to hear him say "Twitter." It's pretty funny that they leaked a version of this without Diddy, then made a point of releasing the 'final' version with all his boring ad libs on here like it makes a damn difference.
Best Verse: Big Boi
Overall Grade: B-
"Must Be Love (Remix)" by Cassie featuring Busta Rhymes, Day26, Red Cafe and Diddy
The video for this song was so ill that for a second it almost made me think I might actually like the song, but coming back to it now yeah, it's pretty weak. Diddy letting his R&B game show flunkies sing on this is actually way doper than any boring rappers doing bedroom-voice flows over it.
Best Verse: Day26
Overall Grade: C+
"Stupid (Remix)" by Playaz Circle featuring Young Jeezy and Lil Wayne
I like Tity Boi and would like to see Playaz Circle do well, but this song is generic as fuck and the remix is no different, everyone goes exactly where you expect them to with the concept.
Best Verse: Young Jeezy
Overall Grade: D
"Swag Surfin' (Remix)" by Fast Life Youngstaz featuring Fabolous, Juelz Santana, Red Cafe and Maino
I had to look at wikipedia to make sure I had the name of the group that does this song right, these guys are so anonymous they make the Shop Boyz seem memorable. I literally have been like "beat's nice, I'll wait for the remix" since the first time I heard this song, although I was actually pretty late on hearing the remix, turns out it's been out a couple months already. Anyway Fab kills it as expected, Juelz annoying as expected.
Best Verse: Fabolous
Overall Grade: B-
"Who's Real (Remix)" by Jadakiss featuring DMX, Eve, Drag-On, Styles P. and Sheek Louch
If the whole Ruff Ryders core was gonna reunite on a remix of Swizz track, I wish it wasn't the whole with the stupid-ass "if you're real and you know it clap your hands" hook, but this song seems a little more decent without goddamn OJ Da Juiceman on it. DMX already posted some slightly pathetic tweets thanking Kiss for giving him the chance to appear on this remix, but his verse is at least a little less incoherent than his last big comeback remix appearance on "Touch It."
Best Verse: Jadakiss
Overall Grade: B-
This entry was posted
on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 at 7:06 PM.
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song is pretty dope, btw.