The 2009 Remix Report Card, Vol. 11
"Angels (Remix)" by Dirty Money featuring Rick Ross / featuring Lupe Fiasco / featuring Raekwon / featuring Aasim
The original "Angels" was one of my least favorite singles of the year for the way it artlessly grafted a classic Biggie verse to a classic Jay beat and then glued them together with dreary strings and some of the worst Autotuned singing in a year full of awful Autotune abuse. And now Diddy's found a way to piss me off further by releasing a bunch of separate remixes of the song with individual rappers instead of piling them all onto a posse cut, which means I have to listen to this stupid fucking song 4 times as much (and each of them is like 6 minutes long). The cool synths on the intro to the Ross remix made me briefly optimistic that they'd stop raping the "Where I'm From" beat, but instead it came back in with Fake Biggie '09 rapping instead of the real Big, which may make it even worse. Lupe kinda goes in but only Rae actually sounds at home on the beat. I'm only even mentioning the remix with Aasim, who's been riding the Bad Boy bench for at least 4 years now, so I can link this one more time.
Best Verse: Raekwon
Overall Grade: D
"Drop It Low (Remix)" by Ester Dean featuring Lil Wayne and Chris Brown
I'd been actively avoiding this song as much as possible since the hook is annoying as fuck and Chris Brown along with a voice even more shrill than his own is a serious recipe for a headache for me. But it turns out with a rapper on this track it's pretty hot, definitely one of the more defensible beats from Polow's recent post-falling off flat-footed trance beat phase, and Wayne gets in a couple hot lines.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: B-
"Love Come Down (Remix)" by Dirty Money featuring Jim Jones, Fabolous and Red Cafe
Diddy also released a remix for the other shitty single from Last Train To Paris, but for this one he at least had the sense to put all the guests on one version of the track. Plus this song is just way better, and makes way better use of a Jay-Z sample, even if it's still not a particularly good song. Fab of course kills it, and Red Cafe makes a truly regrettable pun about Oreos, and says "what else" (my least favorite rapper ad lib of '09) multiple times.
Best Verse: Fabolous
Overall Grade: B-
"Wasted (Remix)" by Gucci Mane featuring Lil Wayne, Jadakiss and Birdman
I'm glad this finally got a proper posse cut remix, after the debacle with the first remix that Gucci's label tried to use to swap out Plies for OJ Da Juiceman on the official single release. This time I feel like Wayne's camp screwed over Gucci, though, by (I'm assuming) muscling Birdman onto the remix as a condition of Wayne being on the track (because why else would anyone else want Birdman on their song?), and then leaking just Wayne's verse as a teaser from No Ceilings way before the whole remix, so most DJs only ended up playing his part. It's a shame, too, since Wayne's verse is kinda shitty and Gucci really put an effort into coming up with a whole new flow to attack this beat with, which is one thing I love to hear an artist do with remixes of their own songs.
Best Verse: Gucci Mane
Overall Grade: B
"Whatever You Want (Remix)" by Consequence featuring Kanye West, Kid Cudi, Common, Big Sean and John Legend
I was joking with someone recently about how the original version of this sounds so shitty and poorly produced that it's almost like Kanye and John Legend told Consequence they'd only be on his single if they weren't squandering some surefire hit they could save for their own albums. Even the video (directed by Hype Williams!) looks kinda low budget, like everyone was giving him their least possible effort. It's also kind of a poor song to use as a springboard for a posse cut trumpeting the G.O.O.D. Music roster, although the weird structure with everyone spitting just 4 bars at a time alternating with a chorus is at least novel, even if it's also super annoying. Big Sean is the saddest Kanye wannabe in a long line of sad Kanye wannabes, and I already hate him for ruining one of my favorite songs on the new Mario album.
Best Verse: Consequence
Overall Grade: C
The original "Angels" was one of my least favorite singles of the year for the way it artlessly grafted a classic Biggie verse to a classic Jay beat and then glued them together with dreary strings and some of the worst Autotuned singing in a year full of awful Autotune abuse. And now Diddy's found a way to piss me off further by releasing a bunch of separate remixes of the song with individual rappers instead of piling them all onto a posse cut, which means I have to listen to this stupid fucking song 4 times as much (and each of them is like 6 minutes long). The cool synths on the intro to the Ross remix made me briefly optimistic that they'd stop raping the "Where I'm From" beat, but instead it came back in with Fake Biggie '09 rapping instead of the real Big, which may make it even worse. Lupe kinda goes in but only Rae actually sounds at home on the beat. I'm only even mentioning the remix with Aasim, who's been riding the Bad Boy bench for at least 4 years now, so I can link this one more time.
Best Verse: Raekwon
Overall Grade: D
"Drop It Low (Remix)" by Ester Dean featuring Lil Wayne and Chris Brown
I'd been actively avoiding this song as much as possible since the hook is annoying as fuck and Chris Brown along with a voice even more shrill than his own is a serious recipe for a headache for me. But it turns out with a rapper on this track it's pretty hot, definitely one of the more defensible beats from Polow's recent post-falling off flat-footed trance beat phase, and Wayne gets in a couple hot lines.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: B-
"Love Come Down (Remix)" by Dirty Money featuring Jim Jones, Fabolous and Red Cafe
Diddy also released a remix for the other shitty single from Last Train To Paris, but for this one he at least had the sense to put all the guests on one version of the track. Plus this song is just way better, and makes way better use of a Jay-Z sample, even if it's still not a particularly good song. Fab of course kills it, and Red Cafe makes a truly regrettable pun about Oreos, and says "what else" (my least favorite rapper ad lib of '09) multiple times.
Best Verse: Fabolous
Overall Grade: B-
"Wasted (Remix)" by Gucci Mane featuring Lil Wayne, Jadakiss and Birdman
I'm glad this finally got a proper posse cut remix, after the debacle with the first remix that Gucci's label tried to use to swap out Plies for OJ Da Juiceman on the official single release. This time I feel like Wayne's camp screwed over Gucci, though, by (I'm assuming) muscling Birdman onto the remix as a condition of Wayne being on the track (because why else would anyone else want Birdman on their song?), and then leaking just Wayne's verse as a teaser from No Ceilings way before the whole remix, so most DJs only ended up playing his part. It's a shame, too, since Wayne's verse is kinda shitty and Gucci really put an effort into coming up with a whole new flow to attack this beat with, which is one thing I love to hear an artist do with remixes of their own songs.
Best Verse: Gucci Mane
Overall Grade: B
"Whatever You Want (Remix)" by Consequence featuring Kanye West, Kid Cudi, Common, Big Sean and John Legend
I was joking with someone recently about how the original version of this sounds so shitty and poorly produced that it's almost like Kanye and John Legend told Consequence they'd only be on his single if they weren't squandering some surefire hit they could save for their own albums. Even the video (directed by Hype Williams!) looks kinda low budget, like everyone was giving him their least possible effort. It's also kind of a poor song to use as a springboard for a posse cut trumpeting the G.O.O.D. Music roster, although the weird structure with everyone spitting just 4 bars at a time alternating with a chorus is at least novel, even if it's also super annoying. Big Sean is the saddest Kanye wannabe in a long line of sad Kanye wannabes, and I already hate him for ruining one of my favorite songs on the new Mario album.
Best Verse: Consequence
Overall Grade: C
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