The 2010 Remix Report Card, Vol. 1

"Don't Make Em Like U No More (Remix)" by Ruben Studdard featuring Rick Ross
Ruben and Rawse feeling some fat boy unity here, the latter opening the song with the dubious compliment "SHE GOT A BODY LIKE A MERMAID." I don't even know what else to say about this one.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: C

"How Low (Remix)" by Ludacris featuring Twista and Rick Ross
This is what the fuck I'm talking about, one of my favorite singles of the past few months with motherfucking Twista doing his thing on the track, brings me back to that awesome track with Luda on Kamikaze. Rick Ross's voice sounds weirdly pitched up ever so slightly on this, which makes me want to put forward the theory that he had to record his verse at a lower speed because that clumsy oaf couldn't keep up with the beat.
Best Verse: Twista
Overall Grade: B+

"It Kills Me (Remix)" by Melanie Fiona featuring Ghostface Killah
As much as radio plays this song to death I still haven't really gotten into it or even seen its appeal, but I can't deny that Ghost is a pretty perfect choice on here as far as the vibe goes. Unfortunately, his flow is really halting like he really just didn't try to figure out how to rap over a beat this slow, and he splits up the word "obligation" across two lines in a way that's awkward as hell.
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: F

"I Wanna Rock (The Kings G-Mix)" by Snoop Dogg featuring Jay-Z
Usually Jay is really predictable about what songs he'll do remixes of, generally by artists he's affiliated with or has some reason to strategically align himself with at the moment, but I'm surprised about this one, even though he's worked with Snoop a bunch of times in the past the only remix he did was for a much bigger song, "Drop It Like It's Hot." Anyway Snoop totally murders him on this.
Best Verse: Snoop Dogg
Overall Grade: C+

"O Let's Do It (Remix)" by Waka Flocka Flame featuring Trae, Lil Wayne and Rick Ross
Trae is such a cool and offbeat choice to appear here, and it's genuinely interesting to hear his voice on this beat, so kudos to Waka for getting creative with the lineup after Gucci presumably got locked up before he would've got around to doing a verse for this. The rest ain't really worth talking about, though.
Best Verse: Trae
Overall Grade: B-

"Sex Therapy (Remix)" by Robin Thicke featuring Ludacris
I had somewhat high hopes for this, since Luda's at his best when he's sleazy and with Polow on the beat there was always the possibility he'd go in on a new track for one of those crazy Zone 4 remixes, but this is really about as much of a snooze as the original. The way the beat gets chopped a little on Luda's 2nd verse is cool, but he goes and ruins it by ending it with the line "got the banana, now let me split you."
Best Verse: n/a
Overall Grade: C-

"Whatever U Want (Bad Boy Remix)" by Consequence featuring Puff Daddy and The Lox
I really don't get this. Cons already did a remix full of G.O.O.D. labelmates for this tepid non-hit a couple months ago, and that at least made sense, but now here's Diddy reuniting with the Lox (even being billed as Puff to maximize the nostalgia) for another one, despite the fact that this just doesn't work thematically or musically or in any way at all.
Best Verse: Jadakiss
Overall Grade: D
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